Dating after loss of spouse
To help others navigate those often turbulent waters, she is drawing on her years of experience in bereavement support to offer a free workshop, "You Want Me to Meet Who? Same thing I did: You're grieving in the same way, you're trying to keep busy in the same way, you try to take care of yourself, you try to stay healthy," she said."You still would like to have a companion," someone to talk with or go out with for dinner and a movie. "It means having someone to care about."Brenda Legaspi, a bereavement social worker at Florida Hospital Hospice Care, said many of the people she works with who have lost loved ones are, after a grieving period, interested in companionship.Even small decisions can sometimes stretch past your point of coping. What is suitable for anyone must be decided individually.Sometimes you have to let go of preconceived notions of the correct way to act and grieve.There is no quick fix or “getting over it” and moving on.
"Because you lost someone that you loved very much does not stop you from wanting to feel happy and joyful again."Comeau-Simonson knows what that process is like — she lost her husband of 25 years in 1993."For me, it was like, I haven't a clue as to how to do this, nor do I really want to," she said. 11, at the Flagler County Public Library's main branch in Palm Coast."What do you do when a spouse dies?It is difficult being alone when you are used to so much more, but I have chosen to remain so until the right partner comes along.It’s a personal decision, and for me, there is no other choice. Williams ©2008 Elaine Williams is a writer, mother of three and a widow of four years who lives in the scenic Catskill Mountains.That companionship doesn't necessarily need to go any further, she said. "Most of them just want someone to travel with or go places with," she said, though she has some clients in their 70s and 80s who are online dating. Legaspi said she thinks Comeau-Simonson's workshop is a "great idea." "There are a couple of social groups in the area that meet maybe once a month, but those are more of a social thing," she said.
Comeau-Simonson, 70, who moved to Palm Coast from the Boston area in March, started volunteering as a part-time bereavement assistant with a local hospice after her husband's death.There is nothing by formula that we can follow or hope to happen.Talking with others who have experienced a similar loss is definitely a plus."It just felt like, wow, this is where I belong," she said.